Drowning sorrow

What is it but a drowning sorrow
as the sky weeps its release

What is it but a chilling fear
as winds scour the earth

What is it but silent heartbeats
as snowflakes settle one by one, by one

What is it but a waiting
an apprehension of thought
a waiting of age
soon to be lit

It is this
this very moment
when upon looking up
a butterfly in winter
shivers in its beautiful strength

shivers, and is gone

Time

Sitting here watching a spider as it’s being blown by the wind while continually building its web.

It falls againt my window, gets blown about and dangles but time and again it carries on its repairs.

It’s a thing they do and not just the spiders but all those creatures out there. They just do stuff oblivious to life and its reasons.

They feel, but not in the same sense we feel as humans with our compassion and hatred, our anxieties, empathy and those maddening questions of life and the reality of it all, the reasons of being, of time and of religion and all those things we have no control over.

The spider is there still doing its thing and I’ve forgotten how to be something other than a failure.

If I just carry on regardless while being buffeted, and with those turbulent feelings in my gut of fear, love and something other that i can’t explain then maybe time will come to my rescue.

Perhaps the universe, in her wisdom, has a message for me in the spider, and as I write these last words the sun breaks through and I realise sometimes there is nothing we can do to change or to help so we have carry on while trying to bring our own light upon the world.

Thank you.

The greater good

“It is within the sun.”

This moment of light shone
through my window
branding itself upon my feelings,
as a kiss lends itself to love.

How that moment surprised me
for I, bedraggled as I am,
am blind to love
and the tenderness it shows.

This dying unkissed breath beneath
the vapours of the sun’s light
asks only one question
expecting no answer.

If time is constant
as light is similar
what of love,
how does love compare?

I hear only silence in reply
I see only vapours of warming light
therefore I understand it is death
and yet perhaps it is something more,

for love lives eternal in the hearts
of those souls who seek it not for themselves
but for the greater good
of their neighbours.

Pause

Seeing reflections as they dance
to life’s ongoing masquerade
I pause to admire patterns
created with such magic
as only imagination can enhance

I pause also to ponder
only to fail in my thoughts,
for my reflection
dances
when I cannot